This might just be one of my last posts in a long long time. I haven't found much motivation to talk about anything at all. Maybe it's because I just grew tired of talking. Every other conversation is filled with little awkward pauses here and there, and I find myself too lazy to think of anything to talk about or ask about. Gone were the nights of endless chats and giggles. Maybe someday when I stop being such a sloth, I'll find that self again, and live.
SPRING! It's finally really here, although some couple of weeks ago it was still pretty chilly. But chilly is the best. Not too sunny not too cold. Spring is the time of the year when I'll be in the best of my moods. =D
Frozen yogurt with Poppings, oh so good. =)
While the flowers are blooming and birds are singing and squirrels are chasing each other, I'm currently working on my portfolio (my first one omg) and trying to get into an art class (yay) next semester. Drawing so much in a week makes me realize that, man, this is tiring! Plus - where do people get their inspirations from anyways? I've been stuck with nothing to draw for the past couple of days, only to resort to drawing some still life stuff just to have some varieties in the stuff that I'll be presenting. Too many portraits surprised me because I am just so bad at drawing humans that I avoid drawing them altogether, USUALLY.
I guess my friend was right. I don't want to be a fine art artist the rest of my life. Too tiring, too mundane. And I hate details. I can do it, but I'll get bored of it. (thank god for psychology!) No matter, I still do want to learn to draw better. I still dream to be a photographer.
I look forward to the end of the semester (not for Summer weather though), to Midwest Games, and to home where all the wonderful sinful food are. ^^
The problem with me is that I focus so much on the things that I am not good at/feel bad or unhappy about, so much so that sometimes these thoughts blind me from all the other aspects of my life. In psychology, this is a type of cognitive distortion called mental filter, or even disqualifying the positive. *pysch nerd mode*
The purple stars continued staring at me night after night, as I stared back into them every night, trying to fall asleep. Some of them dimmed away, but most of them stayed with me. Can they read my thoughts? There he was fast asleep, and I didn't know if I should shake him up a little.
So many thoughts, it was impossible to fall asleep. Exams. Electric bills. Finances. The pile of clothes left at my own room for the last two months waiting to be washed. My eyes were tired, but my mind was running everywhere.
I told him the next day, I didn't know how to be an adult. There are too many things to consider. How did my parents do it? It's scary thinking about it. I figured that it would probably be how it is right now, staying so far away from our parents and handling about everything on our own. It scared me a little to think that I might not have anyone to refer to in the future. Who am I going to talk to when I have doubts?
I looked at the scarf that I finally finished knitting and put it on him.
He looked back at me. "I don't know either. But in any case, I'm here for you."
It is hard to concentrate on anything right now as I am just waiting everyday for a verdict and an answer. It only seems to me now that as I am picking up the pieces again, that I am just wandering around aimlessly. I only wish for my reasons to be understood, and to be given another chance, and not be judged upon only based on what seems to be true. Seeing is not always believing, says my psychology professor.
All I am asking is for some trust and a chance for me to prove myself again.
The Girl
- Yuinyi
- I'm Yuinyi. Call me Joelyn if it's easier to remember but I really like Yuinyi better. 19, and just settled down in Urbana-Champaign, USA. I try to be happy most of the time, but I tend to blog more when I am unhappy. Weird, no? I love my Nikon D3000 and I'm still exploring it. Fan of artsy stuff. Don't have any idea why I am still doing engineering. Fan of Ultimate, but suck at it. Currently addicted to shopping and bubble milk tea. No one is more naive than I am. Also have a habit of laughing too much, and for too long at a time. :)
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My Blog List
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Roblox Speed Hack Scripts - Roblox Speed Hack Scripts This is Roblox gift card generator protection from bots, which you need to pass by answering some easy questions and inserting y...3 years ago
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रिवाल्वर रानी pelicula completa transmisión en español 2014 - रिवाल्वर रानी pelicula completa en español 2014 película completa en español latino online रिवाल्वर रानी descargar castellano रिवाल्वर रानी estreno españa ...3 years ago
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Kata Kata Bijak Kehidupan Untuk Masa Depan - *Kata Kata Bijak Kehidupan Untuk Masa Depan* | Welcome to the website, within this moment I'll demonstrate with regards to Kata Kata Bijak Kehidupan Untu...5 years ago
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Cara Melangsingkan Badan Alami Dalam 1 Minggu - Cara Melangsingkan Badan Alami Dalam 1 Minggu Secara Alami Tanpa Menimbulkan Efek yang Fatal pada Kesehatan dan Tubuh Kalian. Dengan kamu memiliki badan ...6 years ago
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MHB’s 6th Anniversary High-Tea at Element Kuala Lumpur Hotel - MHB (http://hottestbloggers.com) is a digital and influencer content marketing agency which believes that digital publicity should be engaging while bein...6 years ago
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"Worrying about how things might go wrong, doesn’t help things to go right." - “Worrying about how things might go wrong, doesn’t help things to go right.” - *Karen Salmansohn (via deeplifequotes)*8 years ago
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Love - Love, It came silently, and It strikes One however , was too intoxicated with the poison on the cupid arrow, that they forget to realize the pain that com...8 years ago
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# 294 Feeling Lost - If you ask me whether I recommend doing a PhD now, most likely I will say no unless you are very sure that you like going super deep on something. Ever sin...9 years ago
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EduAdvisor - For those who are SPM leavers, do check out EduAdvisor.my , which will have collection of listing of pre-U courses, like A Level, AUSMAT, SAM, Internation...9 years ago
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the fault in our upbringing: a depressing parody - discussed this issue with maternal figure. related to former husband and current son. she said that the son is behaving as an irresponsible prick is becaus...10 years ago
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Moving! - Dear readers, I have now moved to www.zulphotoworks.blogspot.com. That will be the new place for me to post the stories behind the pictures I take and also...11 years ago
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Good advice! - Relaying some good advice I read from this blogpost: http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=1857 1. Strive to be completely satisfied in Jesus. ...11 years ago
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Distance and Time - Lets talk about LDR. No i don't mean Light Dependent Resistor, sorry to disappoint all you engineers and electricians out there. Go read a physics or engin...12 years ago
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Ironic - Life is simply ironic, doesn't it? Sometimes now matter how hard you work for it, if it's never meant to be yours..it will never be. Parents tought us that...12 years ago
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Darkness - Time flew by so quickly that i almost didn't remember how much I have wasted. Things come and go. And now I've come to a point that everything almost came...13 years ago
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Thanksgiving Fun - Thanksgiving break is just around the corner, and I'm sure for most of you it has already started! Excited much? =) Last year I tried to do a Thanksgiving ...14 years ago
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Dumpling festival - I have never tried to make dumpling...there are many things I first tried when I came to US like making tang yuan, cooking and of course this dumplings. In...14 years ago
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Suddenly.......... - Hing's blog inspired me to blog about my experience watching a breath taking sun-rise scenery back in Malaysia. I was quite surprise that I didn't blog ab...14 years ago
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背对背拥抱 - 话总说不清楚该怎么明了 一字一句像圈套 旧帐总翻不完谁无理取闹 你的双手甩开刚好的微妙 然后战火再燃烧 我们背对背拥抱滥用沉默在咆哮 爱情来不及变老葬送在烽火的玩笑 我们背对背拥抱真话兜着圈子来乱绕 即使想让我知道即使想让你知道爱的警告 只是想让我知道只是想让你知道这警告 我不要一直到形同陌路变成自找 既然可...14 years ago
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My 20th. =) - I know this post is like a little late. I was having so much fun i din have the time to blog. =P hee hee.. My 20th... was one day before my final exam pape...14 years ago
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19th on 19th =D - Quick post(and its not even mine =D). Adapted from nick's blog. Cheers and thanks a bunch people! =D Melody’s BBQ PartyOUTINGS — BY NICHOLAS ON SEPTEMBER ...15 years ago
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Outlet Shopping 101 - 1. Do not bring a debit/credit card. 2. Have something to eat before hand. No one's gonna stop and eat. 3. No heels pls. 4. Shop alone or in pairs if you're ...15 years ago
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MOVED - I HAVE CHANGED MY BLOG ADDRESS TO HTTP://JOANNETRY.BLOGSPOT.COM --> click! relink and new RSS pls! Thanks :)15 years ago
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I am who I am... - I'm not as genius as Acap,who gets Maryland... I'm not as handsome and attractive as Syazwi who has myriads of admirers... I'm not a guy who can make peopl...15 years ago
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|Pis...on... Th... T.. Th...e Grre....| - ~Pison The Great shuts down~------blib------|||||||-----eject sequence completed-----15 years ago
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I've reached a crossroad... - Yesh, yesh, I am aware I haven't been posting anything here lately... try a whole month... something I have not attempted since I started this whole thing!...16 years ago
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