Black Vs White

2:21 AM

Purple Stars

Posted by Yuinyi |

The week has just started to get busy again with lab reports coming right up after the stream of exam last week. It was not as tedious and stressful, except for maybe Statistics. With Stats this semester, I've probably found that one thing I hate more than engineering. It's once again one of those many things that me and A.Chu differ in in terms of liking.

I just don't get how anyone can get high doing math and counting probabilities with so many different distributions - something I just can't seem to understand the way it functions, no matter how hard I try. But that's the boyfriend.

Last Thursday brought me to tears of exasperation as I was struggling to understand Statistics. I've just came back from a very easy engineering paper, and was feeling so happy about it, that for once I might have done well in an engineering paper. I came back with the entire afternoon to revise Stats. Do you know how sometimes you think you know what you're supposed to know, yet you have no idea where to start once you look at the exam questions? I could not do the sample exam questions at all. It's frustrating how it keeps happening to me, that no matter how much I've been explained to, I can't connect. I did not know what to do and how even my Statistician boyfriend could help me. I gave up, and took a nap I really needed.

He woke me up an hour later, with everything he thought I needed to know, everything he knew I might forget (that I kept asking him every single week and never seem to remember), and every possible example he can think of, in 4 pages, handwritten.

How is it possible for me to disregard this guy for so long? :')

As he is fast asleep under his strings of purple stars, I hear him snore and look around at his more than messy and unorganized room, and I think that this, this is happy.

craps (5)

11:06 AM

A Quick One

Posted by Yuinyi |

I'm restraining myself from feeling overconfident for my exam later and convincing myself that I still need to look at certain parts of the text that I might have missed or would risk forgetting. Exam is in one hour.

But maybe I should catch up on some breakfast.

Or blog.

As much as I would like to be as jolly and bubbly as I actually am in real life or as I used to blog 3 years ago when I started the blog, I seem to have lost the ability to blog happily. Much. I think my blog is too filled with words and nonsensical rants that nobody wants to listen to anyway. Then again, it's probably because nobody reads anyway (HAHA) so I've turned lazy. =P

SO. Okaylah let me put in some pictures and blog like how I used to 3 years ago. Blog needs pictures.

Picture of my room! Pink curtains and mini lights is *heart*!!

Also, wall decal that I spent 2 tiring hours cutting out every single little piece. Including the tiny leaves. And flowers. But oh so rewarding when I finally put it up! (and my room is not actually THAT pink, it's just the reflection from the curtain, and probably the camera lightings)

And we had lots of cookout sessions.

In this one, A.Chu cooked his now famous pig trotters, which I did not touch, at all. Not that it wasn't good. I just. don't. touch. There are amazingly so many different things we like and hate haha. For example pig trotters.

And of course, our one week late Mid Autumn Festival. I seriously did not know how I managed to find time to organize my own party last year. I barely had time to do anything this year! Bought the mold for the mooncake but didn't get around to making any. Kuih rose too. I just have NO time for any special occasions/parties this year. =(

And I just ran out of pictures. So not only am I lazy to blog with pictures, I have also become lazy to take pictures.

An hour to exam! Lunch!

craps (0)

3:44 PM

A bit of happy

Posted by Yuinyi |

This is me today ---> ^_^

I'm feeling pleasant. I have TONNES to study for my exam tomorrow. But I am ^_^.

Weee.

I think it's the sleep. Sleep is good. I don't feel tired. Getting my hours back on track. Waking up early. Being hardworking at work. Boss said thank you. Meeting the boyfriend. Happy. Happy.

=)

I can afford to stay up tonight. I'm so in the mood. Oh and coffee. Yes coffee.

This is one of those simple, normal, NICE days that I can smile and study and hum to myself. Just nice and plain. =)

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4:31 AM

4.32 AM

Posted by Yuinyi |

Did you change? Or did I just not know you when I thought I did?

craps (0)

2:42 AM

As we.

Posted by Yuinyi |

My heart raced.

craps (7)

10:16 PM

This me.

Posted by Yuinyi |

These days, Sundays = no sleep, thanks to the stupidly long lab report that is due every week. Since I have homework due every day of the week, the only time I have to do my stupidly long lab report would be the weekends. =(

And then when I get no sleep, I get so tired. And so emo. And so frustrated. All I want to do is sleep.

At the end of the day, I really want a huge hug and someone to talk to. But being me, I just end up pushing people away from me and pretending that I am okay, when I really wish that they'll ignore what I say and just come for me.

=/

I have issues.

Well. Let's hope I get some sleep tonight.

craps (4)

3:05 AM

Give me more time

Posted by Yuinyi |

I'm going o.O looking at the lab report I am supposed to write by Monday. This is my first 20-over pages lab report and I am trying to understand exactly what we're supposed to write that's going to take up 20 pages. Sigh. Engineers.

But I'm very semangated! I can do this!! *refills coffee*

Raya celebration tomorrow. Housewarming tomorrow. Definitely wrong timing. Too much to do, too little time! Let's see if I can stay sleepless for a week. Yes, the workload is definitely starting to pile now. @.@

GO YUINYI GO! :D

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6:21 PM

Motivation

Posted by Yuinyi |

The light tapping sounds of the student on the keyboard filled the air as he worked his way through his assignment that is probably due on Monday. It's the weekend and there are not many people in the lab. Out of the 40 workstations lined up in the lab, only two were occupied, and one more as another student walked in, with his white hoodie, a backpack, assignments and determination.

I've done my rounds, pushed in the chairs, wiped the workstations, arranged the keyboards so that they look perfectly lined up from the first workstation to the last.The sun is going down as the end of my shift approaches. The golden sunlight peeks in through the blinds. Just one minute later, they're gone. It has been a quiet day at work. No one has asked me any questions today, and I am glad. Ever since I started working, I've been stumbling through the job, trying to get answers to questions from students. It's just not as nice and easy as I thought it would be. Why does the computer says it needs a command line to print? Why does Firefox says it's already running but not responding? Why isn't any sound coming out from the computer? First of all, I don't even know what's a command line. I sighed inside, and tried my best to look as if I know something. Let me take a look, I said.

It's stressful to not know. Everyday at work I prayed that no one would come to me and ask me something new. That's how I am, too comfortable in my own comfort zone and often, stumbling and afraid whenever I come across something unfamiliar and unknown to me. But if there's no one to ask me something that I don't know, there's no way I'm going to learn about that something. That's also, most of the times, how I learn. By experience.

Maybe by tomorrow, I will know how to answer another question. Maybe by next week, I'll be able to answer another 10 possible questions. Maybe by the end of the semester, I'll be able to answer more.

Give me time, I'd like to convince everyone, I'll be able to do this.