Black Vs White

I need something or someone to talk to. Don't judge me. Give me some kind of support and confidence I need now, because I don't want to screw this up for myself.

I hate it that I take up to 10 hours to figure out what people would take 2 or 3 hours to do, and still I won't be able to always figure it out.

I hate that I have to work twice as hard as others, and still suck like hell.

I hate it that I am stoned right now and my homework is still undone after 12 hours.

Lately I haven't had much to say. I just want to post up pictures and random thoughts.

So I created www.joeynyi.tumblr.com .

But this blog remains, for me when I have too much to say.

:)

***

Spent a lot of time crying silently last night. Working on the homework with Yik Han tutoring me and felt very clueless. I tried not to cry, because I tend to when I feel utterly stupid and useless. But I was crying and nobody saw. It was as tiring as crying out in the open. I came back feeling so worn out.

But I woke up feeling okay today. Went around looking for jobs. Felt okay until I started thinking about how broke I am now. I need a job!

I'm really hoping the allowance won't be late this time. Please?

Have to get through this week, despite the emotions and hormone imbalance. I hate hormon imbalance. It gets me all messed up. Hmph.

I'm figuring out how to be happy again. :)

Because just talking or even getting a text from you, makes everything feels okay. :)

http://cosmicolour.tumblr.com

I haven't been feeling very hippy and happy the past few days.


I'm grumpy and cranky and annoyed. I'm tired but I'm busy. I'm frustrated and not satisfied. I'm pouting.


:(







But at least Daughtry was fantastic.

A story behind this photo. One of the most memorable moments. Funny but memorable.

Randomly joined a frisbee tournament without any prior knowledge on how to play the game.

Pink day. :)

Came across a picture of my now boyfriend - 3 years ago. *amused*

Randomly bought waterguns and have a watergun birthday party for the nanny.

Randomly hanging out at the court with a frisbee with two gals and two dudes. All makkaus.

Great times in Boston.

Forever messy.

I miss being 17.

being in my own room, doing my work at my own pace (not having to RUSH my homework for now), listening to Keith Urban (love country music!), and admiring the John Mayer poster in the room, and missing the boyfriend.

:)

Despite being annoyed to the max by a bunch of idiots acting like jerks today.

Bliss. :)

Finally able to get away from all the work for a while - just tonight though. I'm done with the second rounds of exams, this time better than the first I would say, but not great yet. I'm just contented there's some improvement, or at least that's how I felt after the papers.

This is how my room looks like after a week of mugging and rushing homework in between.

Also, Spring is wonderful. I'm loving the weather, the flowers, the warmth. So a bunch of us went around taking shots around the campus - of the blossoming flowers and the sun and the alive quad. :)

If you look close enough, you can see they are fighting for the disc. I miss playing like this. :P

This booth gives out free condoms. And when we looked at it, it says Made in Malaysia. :P

Look! This quad is crowded!

Met this cute boy in the quad. Didn't get his name though. ISN'T HE ADORABLE!

I love this shot. :P

That's me! Note: I am not actually this short, I was just kneeling. :S

Nice one from Yen Yee, Karleng and Valerie. Awesome people. :)

This flower plucked off the trees near the Gregory Hall. I liked it on my hair. ^^

It makes me happy. We should really go to the Japanese Garden sometime. I have a feeling it will be wonderful!

And things I really want to do with this super awesome weather:

-BBQ! omg I have been wanting to do this since so long ago.

-more photoshoots! I really need to try joining the photography club soon.

-getting my ass out of my bedroom and into the sun while making sure I don't get tanned. XD

-working out in the gym! yes, got teman can go liao!

-swimming (not playing water)

I can't wait for summer vacation really!

Plus, some pictures from the Grad Night this year. It was awesome! Finally an event where I actually get to dress up. ^^ And just the night before, I found this super amazing dress in my closet - given to me by my aunt. I didn't realize it looked that good until I tried it on. :P

Yen Yee and I. It's so easy and often that people get confused between the two of us. XD

Yoong Jie and I. Small boy. :)

The emcee of the night, Andrew, also the ex Fly FM Myvi Trooper. HAHA

The girls. Without Puiyin, something feels missing. XD

Esvina and I, somehow housemates, since we go and stay at the Engineering Hall so often together. :)

Valerie doing her thing - Jacklyn Victor's Gemilang. Awesome. :)

There are more pictures that I would really like to upload, but I am just too tired right now and I am in need of some good sleep. :)

And tonight I get to sleep! :))

A good one month. And more to come. :)

<3

I think I should post up some Spring photos soon. After the exams. :)

This is a major dead week.


*yawns*

Exam in 1.5 hours time. I think I did my best studying for the most parts. So much that I didn't have time for homework. Which means, another all-nighter tonight, and tomorrow. Which means, I have been pulling all-nighters all week.

@.@


Later: I think I did OKAY in the test. Kinda worth it - the all-nighters I mean. :)

For the first time since what felt like a long time ago, I can say that I am at least not failing that paper. :)

Thank you, Yik Han for tutoring me! :)

Time to catch up with some little bit of sleep! :D

I don't know what has become of me, or what I am doing.

But it's not entirely my fault. I'm upset and that's that. I have my limits.


Happy Easter Sunday. Maybe I should paint some eggs.