10:12 PM

Just Saying

Posted by Yuinyi |

Every time we hug and part ways, the little bit of sad tugs on my little heart, as if we won't see each other tomorrow or a few hours later. I can't really put into words what this feeling is. Am I getting too used to being around people that I have forgotten how it is to walk home on my own?

It's always bothering me how attached I can get to people and how much attention I might need. Every time I get too used to being around certain people, not seeing them a day or two leaves me lost. It affects me so much, I try so hard to hide it but I always fail myself. The moment I let someone in to my life is the moment I forgot how to be independent. I want to be pampered and have people cheer me up, but wouldn't that be a little too selfish of me, to expect them to know and selflessly care, to let myself and my little pathetic emotions get in the way of their lives?

In the midst of everything going on - exam, endless homework, labs at 8 a.m., halloween, work, family, friends - I can't really tell what's bothering me so much, or upsetting me so much. My life is as good and wonderful as it can be right now, yet it is as if something is missing. What is? Why does it never seem to be enough? I don't know what else I'm looking for, or what I want right now. I don't know if I just want to talk to someone, or be around people, or have friends to study with. Or perhaps it's just too much of little troubles and I just need some rest. A week off would be good. I want to sleep in, cuddle and talk and laugh in bed. I want to go to bed early, and wake up early to have breakfast downtown. I want to sit by the window and read a book at my own pace. I want to go on a date and get flowers. I want to watch a movie. I want to be pretty.

I keep telling myself, it's only 3 more weeks to fall break. 3 more weeks to catch up with a little bit of rest and to sleep-in. I just need a little bit of strength to keep going on and do my best for this test I have tomorrow. But with the mental state that I'm in, I'm not sure if anything I read or study would actually stay in my head.

People are clawing their way to be at the top, I'm just trying to stay afloat and figure myself out.

5:07 PM

Overambitious.

Posted by Yuinyi |

Wish I had more time.

2:10 PM

Torn

Posted by Yuinyi |

JAY CHOU IS COMING TO THE US OMG.

How how how how how how how how how how how.

What about my Florida trip. Omg howw!!
I am so torn.


Florida or Jay Chou? Florida or Jay Chou??!!

1:43 PM

Speaking Out

Posted by Yuinyi |

RHET lecturer: You might be better than you think you are.

Me: *blush*

7:11 PM

Beautiful Connection

Posted by Yuinyi |

It's the wow when you realize that hey, somebody who has grown up with you is - MARRIED. How did time go by so quickly without you even realizing it?

Like, really?

It's also the feeling and realization that you're overseas and was unable to be at home to be a part of the whole big thing. I remember always joking with my friends that I'm waiting for this to happen so I can dress up and look pretty. And now it has happened, and I am just here, just here looking at the pictures and wished I was in them.

And then it's realizing that you have a sister-in-law and your family has just gotten a little bigger. It's looking at those pictures and seeing how much my little sisters have grown, and how much older my dad seems to be now. And that my brother - well he's my brother, now with a wife.

It's being drown in guilt realizing how caught up I have been in work and thinking and telling myself that I would call home the next week, week after week, then pausing and thinking, how many weeks have gone by?

It's the homesick. Not just missing the food, or the environment. It's missing the family - the constant nagging from my dad, the perpetual and random hugs from my youngest sister who never seem to grow out of her manja-ness, and the pushing around by my brother.

Marriage. It has always been my soft spot. It's too beautiful and too happy. It's a family thing.

Congratulations, kor! And Ah Sou! (I was told that I only call Tai Sou if I have more than one elder brother) Wish I was there!

Photo courtesy of Teo Cheng Yong's album. Couldn't find any taken from my own brother's camera?

12:20 AM

WOW

Posted by Yuinyi |

I came back from work, a little exhausted and slightly annoyed at the one guy who is always there every time I have my shift in the library, who kept asking me if the printer is out of paper when I have told him again and again that NO it is not, he just has to wait for a while for the printer to process the job.


And then I remembered that my grades for my Fluid Dynamics is out already, probably on Monday. I just didn't bother to check it because I felt that I did quite badly in it. I decided that, well I'll have to look at it sooner or later, and that I'm prepared for the worst.

Click click click.

O.O

75.
..
..
..

Check average.
..
..
73.3.
..
..
..
..

WTF.
..
..
..

LOL!


HAHAHAHHA! =D

p/s: It's not an A+ score, but really, this is good enough for me. :D Oh also got back my RHET paper. Got an A! Happy! I love writing class!

2:21 AM

Purple Stars

Posted by Yuinyi |

The week has just started to get busy again with lab reports coming right up after the stream of exam last week. It was not as tedious and stressful, except for maybe Statistics. With Stats this semester, I've probably found that one thing I hate more than engineering. It's once again one of those many things that me and A.Chu differ in in terms of liking.


I just don't get how anyone can get high doing math and counting probabilities with so many different distributions - something I just can't seem to understand the way it functions, no matter how hard I try. But that's the boyfriend.

Last Thursday brought me to tears of exasperation as I was struggling to understand Statistics. I've just came back from a very easy engineering paper, and was feeling so happy about it, that for once I might have done well in an engineering paper. I came back with the entire afternoon to revise Stats. Do you know how sometimes you think you know what you're supposed to know, yet you have no idea where to start once you look at the exam questions? I could not do the sample exam questions at all. It's frustrating how it keeps happening to me, that no matter how much I've been explained to, I can't connect. I did not know what to do and how even my Statistician boyfriend could help me. I gave up, and took a nap I really needed.

He woke me up an hour later, with everything he thought I needed to know, everything he knew I might forget (that I kept asking him every single week and never seem to remember), and every possible example he can think of, in 4 pages, handwritten.

How is it possible for me to disregard this guy for so long? :')

As he is fast asleep under his strings of purple stars, I hear him snore and look around at his more than messy and unorganized room, and I think that this, this is happy.

11:06 AM

A Quick One

Posted by Yuinyi |

I'm restraining myself from feeling overconfident for my exam later and convincing myself that I still need to look at certain parts of the text that I might have missed or would risk forgetting. Exam is in one hour.

But maybe I should catch up on some breakfast.

Or blog.

As much as I would like to be as jolly and bubbly as I actually am in real life or as I used to blog 3 years ago when I started the blog, I seem to have lost the ability to blog happily. Much. I think my blog is too filled with words and nonsensical rants that nobody wants to listen to anyway. Then again, it's probably because nobody reads anyway (HAHA) so I've turned lazy. =P

SO. Okaylah let me put in some pictures and blog like how I used to 3 years ago. Blog needs pictures.

Picture of my room! Pink curtains and mini lights is *heart*!!


Also, wall decal that I spent 2 tiring hours cutting out every single little piece. Including the tiny leaves. And flowers. But oh so rewarding when I finally put it up! (and my room is not actually THAT pink, it's just the reflection from the curtain, and probably the camera lightings)

And we had lots of cookout sessions.

In this one, A.Chu cooked his now famous pig trotters, which I did not touch, at all. Not that it wasn't good. I just. don't. touch. There are amazingly so many different things we like and hate haha. For example pig trotters.

And of course, our one week late Mid Autumn Festival. I seriously did not know how I managed to find time to organize my own party last year. I barely had time to do anything this year! Bought the mold for the mooncake but didn't get around to making any. Kuih rose too. I just have NO time for any special occasions/parties this year. =(

And I just ran out of pictures. So not only am I lazy to blog with pictures, I have also become lazy to take pictures.

An hour to exam! Lunch!

3:44 PM

A bit of happy

Posted by Yuinyi |


This is me today ---> ^_^

I'm feeling pleasant. I have TONNES to study for my exam tomorrow. But I am ^_^.

Weee.

I think it's the sleep. Sleep is good. I don't feel tired. Getting my hours back on track. Waking up early. Being hardworking at work. Boss said thank you. Meeting the boyfriend. Happy. Happy.

=)

I can afford to stay up tonight. I'm so in the mood. Oh and coffee. Yes coffee.

This is one of those simple, normal, NICE days that I can smile and study and hum to myself. Just nice and plain. =)

Subscribe