Leaving home a year ago was leaving all my wounds, all the drama behind, and starting fresh again. Coming to a completely new place, and making new friends, forming new relationships. Having the slightest bit of hope somewhere in my heart, that perhaps it would be less complicated, and everything would be simple.
I stepped foot here with a backpack. My two huge luggages, filled with my clothes and all my other necessary stuff were left behind at the airport as my flight got cancelled. It was about 2 in the morning when I took the first step out of the somewhat old, empty and overly priced bus into Champaign. The air was as fresh as the fresh start I've wanted.
My first few months here was completely happy. I met some people that I grew close with over the short period of time. Some people I got very attached with. To me then, there was no drama. Everyone was nice. Everyone was happy. Everyone was honest and true. I've never been so happy and contented since I can't remember. While some of my friends who went to other states and universities for their studies complained about unhelpful seniors and having to do a lot by themselves, I was grateful that the people here were really helpful and kind. What else could I ask for? I loved all those moments hanging out, having people for dinner at my place, and all the laughter during the weekends. To me, we were all just completely unprejudiced towards each other. I did not see much drama going on, and I was happy. Maybe things could be simple.
But then again, people say I'm too trusting. Or maybe I just jump to conclusions. It takes time to see what is really going on. It takes time to realize and see those stories that has BEEN going on since before we get into the picture. We don't see it at first, but as times goes by, as we get to know a little bit more here and there, and putting all the pieces together, we begin to see what's really going on. It's as my math professor said, seeing the forest despite the trees. or maybe it was seeing the trees despite the forest.
I've never been happier, yet I have never been more disappointed in the things I see. It's not back-stabbingly severe, but the acting and prejudice alone are too much for me to handle at this point. If I step out and make my point, will anyone listen to me? Or will I just fall victim to the acting, hushed gossips, and prejudice?
Or perhaps, am I just as hypocritical?
2 craps:
Ain't nothing is so perfect, it's everywhere. Just be smart to know about it, and try not getting into any of it. Open your eyes and ears BIG.
I'm not in it, but I don't like it. :(
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