Black Vs White

So once again Summer is boredifying. Totally. I'm trying to enjoy the "holidays" as much as I can, really, considering the fact that when Fall starts (in UIUC!!! *jumps around) I'll be so busy that I'll be complaining again. But I just can't enjoy it! I'm been spending my days in a room, watching animes and series on my laptop. The entire day, and in between, make meals. Oh did I mention my Singaporean Channel aerial just got taken down? That's like taking away your Astros at home! I could have fainted when I realised I have to depend on TV1, TV2, TV3, NTV7 and 8TV. Practically no point having the TV anymore. >.<

Yesterday I woke up early (9 a.m. omg) and watched an entire day of series with my sister again, made meals, and didn't have anything to do at night. So I tidied up the house. And had a nice cup of hot chocolate after that. Mmmm. Rewarding. I love my hot chocolate sometimes. It's such a pleasure when I am tired. I'm beginning to think that doing chores is a good way to sweat it out a bit because I am getting fat and graduation dinner is around the corner. Sigh.

So you see, I have practically nothing much to do, at home or at Cemara.

Things that I can do:
1. Watch series/anime
2. Study sociology (blllaaarrgghh)
3. Clean the house everyday

THREE. I have only THREE teenie weenie things to do.

Is that pathetic or what?

Going out is no longer much of an option ever since I am broke. I mean really really broke. I think I won't even get some accesories to go with my dinner dress. Sad right. Totally.

So I am really contemplating not going for a trip to Penang with Liz, CJ, LX, NYC, and FY. >.< Please don't tempt me anymore. I am REALLY REALLY BROKE. I will need to starve for the rest of June. I really want to go, but I don't see how I can.

I've been told that I am just too sad and have been torturing myself. Thing is, I am not. I would say that I am actually doing considerably fine. I am making myself happy. What do you think all those shopping and karaoke-ing and random coughexpensivecough dinners are for? And I am happy, except that I am BORED when I don't have shopping/karaoke/dinners to go to. So when I am bored, I tend to be less happy. So the point is, I am more bored than I am sad. When I am bored, I sometimes tend to let my mind wander. I may not be 100% happy but I am not sad. And perhaps some things are still lingering in my mind, but I think it just comes so naturally and it will go away naturally one day. I'm very very thankful for the concerns and will still need you guys to help me up but I assure you I am quite fine. =P

I'll be happier if I am not broke and bored. Bored and broke. >.<

Sometimes I think I have very very slight monophobia. Except that I don't break into sweats and have extreme panic attacks. So maybe that's why I get so upset about being alone and that's why people think I am sad. =.=

There's still a month left till Summer ends. Counting the days left, and at the same time, dreading it very much.