I'm so messed up. I really am.
Why did I even bother to go and break my own heart? I should have stayed on the path and not let myself stray away. If you ask me, I seriously did not know what I was expecting. I did not know what I was hoping for. And I shouldn't even have had any hopes. I am the world's dumbest person.
You were right, Kelvian. I was stupid. So very stupid. And pathetic. I still am. And I keep doing stupid things that I know I shouldn't. And I still want to do stupid stuff.
Now I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so trapped. And it's like I am just trapping myself in this mess, secretly not wanting to get out. T.T
What's more depressing is how I need to force myself to do my Calculus homework and not let myself cry.
I was pretty mad at myself today for not bringing my umbrella with me to class. Hah. I was really tired and all I wanted to do was leave right after my Calculus discussion class and sleeeeeepp. And then it rained. And I didn't bring my umbrella. So I spent the next 15 minutes in the building watching people. :)
Have I mentioned how much I love people in UIUC?
Awesome right.
Sanddy called tonight. *happy* She was like, "Hello dear! How are you??" And I was like, okaaayyy who is this woman calling me dear, "Uhhh who are you?" And she goes, "Me laaahhh, your ex roommate!! Don't recognize my voice mehhh!!" And then all the screaming. Okay not that bad but I was so excited! So nice to hear from you Sanddy!
:)
Ciaoz! Homework time!
I am getting so frustrated with UPS. My camera did not reach me for the second time now. To think that I stayed home all day (I didn't even go out for lunch!) for it, and it still didn't reach me. Don't you think they should at least call if they are knocking on my door and no one answers the door? UPS Malaysia called me when they were delivering my stuff!! >.< This is so gonna spoil my entire weekend, just thinking about it.
If all American parties involves drinking, then I really think Friday night parties will be really boring for me. Sigh. Aside from talking and socializing, there isn't really much to do. From my first experience of a Friday night party.
Gaah. So currently I am dealing with my hair issue. Again. I thought I got over it. Now I really want to have my hair long and flowing again. Short hair makes me look so chubby. And unpretty. I really gotta stop looking at my old pictures, and pictures of other people with nice long hair. =.=
I'm gonna wait BESIDE the door ALL DAY on Monday until I get my package. Yes that's what I'm gonna do.
Oh! I'm wishing everyone Selamat Hari Raya and Maaf Zahir Batin! ;) We get to play fireflowers tomorrow at the quad! Omg I am so bringing my flashlight disc. Woots!
It's a cold night! Goodnight!!
Sigh. I hate talking to you (of course not). That itself made me teary eyed.
Today, my D3000 is supposed to have arrived. And it is supposed to be in my loving arms by now. They came, and I "was not home" to sign the package. BUT I WAS HOME!! Okay maybe I was sleeping. >.<
Emily: Hey I really like your cleats. They are like so cute and small.
Me: Oh yea, my feet are really tiny..
Emily: Yeah, they look like they are at most size 3!
Me: It's actually size 5. :)
***********
The Fray's concert is tomorrow! Whee!! Oh and did I mention I already bought my DSLR! I am so excited to see my Nikon D3000!! :D
Movie night with the Ultimate girls on Thursday night and party with the girls AND guys on Friday night!
It's gonna be a really busy week. I better get all my homework done!!
:)
There are so many little things that irritate me.
Like,
I really feel annoyed and irritated when someone nudges me or messages me online, and doesn't give me a reply after I replied.
I feel really irritated that I am still caught in between and don't know where to go.
I feel really irritated because of _______ which I really want to mention but I can't.
I feel so irritated because I am losing my options.
I feel so irritated when I feel like I became solo queen.
I feel irritated by my habit of procrastination.
I feel very mad because some people are so selfish.
I feel so irritated because my doddleboard calendar thingy won't stick to the wall and it keeps falling.
I feel very annoyed with myself because I don't dare to ask the things I want to ask because it's awkward.
I also feel really disappointed because the shops around here closes so early and I cannot have yumcha session till late at night. And there's no Redbox.
I'm really happy lately. But little things annoy me from time to time.
P/S: I miss yumcha and Redbox!
The Girl
- Yuinyi
- I'm Yuinyi. Call me Joelyn if it's easier to remember but I really like Yuinyi better. 19, and just settled down in Urbana-Champaign, USA. I try to be happy most of the time, but I tend to blog more when I am unhappy. Weird, no? I love my Nikon D3000 and I'm still exploring it. Fan of artsy stuff. Don't have any idea why I am still doing engineering. Fan of Ultimate, but suck at it. Currently addicted to shopping and bubble milk tea. No one is more naive than I am. Also have a habit of laughing too much, and for too long at a time. :)
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My Blog List
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Roblox Speed Hack Scripts - Roblox Speed Hack Scripts This is Roblox gift card generator protection from bots, which you need to pass by answering some easy questions and inserting y...3 years ago
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रिवाल्वर रानी pelicula completa transmisión en español 2014 - रिवाल्वर रानी pelicula completa en español 2014 película completa en español latino online रिवाल्वर रानी descargar castellano रिवाल्वर रानी estreno españa ...3 years ago
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Kata Kata Bijak Kehidupan Untuk Masa Depan - *Kata Kata Bijak Kehidupan Untuk Masa Depan* | Welcome to the website, within this moment I'll demonstrate with regards to Kata Kata Bijak Kehidupan Untu...5 years ago
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Cara Melangsingkan Badan Alami Dalam 1 Minggu - Cara Melangsingkan Badan Alami Dalam 1 Minggu Secara Alami Tanpa Menimbulkan Efek yang Fatal pada Kesehatan dan Tubuh Kalian. Dengan kamu memiliki badan ...6 years ago
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[ADV] Joseristine - Anti-Pollution Whitening Mask - Joseristine is a Hong Kong-based skincare brand established since 1995 by Choi Fung Hong. Recently, Joseristine has expanded to Malaysia and is availabl...7 years ago
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"Worrying about how things might go wrong, doesn’t help things to go right." - “Worrying about how things might go wrong, doesn’t help things to go right.” - *Karen Salmansohn (via deeplifequotes)*8 years ago
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Love - Love, It came silently, and It strikes One however , was too intoxicated with the poison on the cupid arrow, that they forget to realize the pain that com...8 years ago
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# 294 Feeling Lost - If you ask me whether I recommend doing a PhD now, most likely I will say no unless you are very sure that you like going super deep on something. Ever sin...9 years ago
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EduAdvisor - For those who are SPM leavers, do check out EduAdvisor.my , which will have collection of listing of pre-U courses, like A Level, AUSMAT, SAM, Internation...10 years ago
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the fault in our upbringing: a depressing parody - discussed this issue with maternal figure. related to former husband and current son. she said that the son is behaving as an irresponsible prick is becaus...10 years ago
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Moving! - Dear readers, I have now moved to www.zulphotoworks.blogspot.com. That will be the new place for me to post the stories behind the pictures I take and also...11 years ago
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Good advice! - Relaying some good advice I read from this blogpost: http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=1857 1. Strive to be completely satisfied in Jesus. ...12 years ago
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Distance and Time - Lets talk about LDR. No i don't mean Light Dependent Resistor, sorry to disappoint all you engineers and electricians out there. Go read a physics or engin...12 years ago
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Ironic - Life is simply ironic, doesn't it? Sometimes now matter how hard you work for it, if it's never meant to be yours..it will never be. Parents tought us that...13 years ago
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Darkness - Time flew by so quickly that i almost didn't remember how much I have wasted. Things come and go. And now I've come to a point that everything almost came...13 years ago
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Thanksgiving Fun - Thanksgiving break is just around the corner, and I'm sure for most of you it has already started! Excited much? =) Last year I tried to do a Thanksgiving ...14 years ago
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Dumpling festival - I have never tried to make dumpling...there are many things I first tried when I came to US like making tang yuan, cooking and of course this dumplings. In...14 years ago
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Suddenly.......... - Hing's blog inspired me to blog about my experience watching a breath taking sun-rise scenery back in Malaysia. I was quite surprise that I didn't blog ab...14 years ago
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背对背拥抱 - 话总说不清楚该怎么明了 一字一句像圈套 旧帐总翻不完谁无理取闹 你的双手甩开刚好的微妙 然后战火再燃烧 我们背对背拥抱滥用沉默在咆哮 爱情来不及变老葬送在烽火的玩笑 我们背对背拥抱真话兜着圈子来乱绕 即使想让我知道即使想让你知道爱的警告 只是想让我知道只是想让你知道这警告 我不要一直到形同陌路变成自找 既然可...14 years ago
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My 20th. =) - I know this post is like a little late. I was having so much fun i din have the time to blog. =P hee hee.. My 20th... was one day before my final exam pape...14 years ago
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19th on 19th =D - Quick post(and its not even mine =D). Adapted from nick's blog. Cheers and thanks a bunch people! =D Melody’s BBQ PartyOUTINGS — BY NICHOLAS ON SEPTEMBER ...15 years ago
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Outlet Shopping 101 - 1. Do not bring a debit/credit card. 2. Have something to eat before hand. No one's gonna stop and eat. 3. No heels pls. 4. Shop alone or in pairs if you're ...15 years ago
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MOVED - I HAVE CHANGED MY BLOG ADDRESS TO HTTP://JOANNETRY.BLOGSPOT.COM --> click! relink and new RSS pls! Thanks :)15 years ago
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I am who I am... - I'm not as genius as Acap,who gets Maryland... I'm not as handsome and attractive as Syazwi who has myriads of admirers... I'm not a guy who can make peopl...15 years ago
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|Pis...on... Th... T.. Th...e Grre....| - ~Pison The Great shuts down~------blib------|||||||-----eject sequence completed-----15 years ago
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I've reached a crossroad... - Yesh, yesh, I am aware I haven't been posting anything here lately... try a whole month... something I have not attempted since I started this whole thing!...16 years ago
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